Sunday, May 22, 2005

With Air!

OK, who gets paid to think up the daft names of car models? I was driving behind a Toyota 'Kluger' the other day and I started thinking "What is that? Kluger? What's that supposed to make me think?" It has a vaguely unappealing and harsh Teutonic sound to me, sort of like a cross between 'kludge' and 'Luger'. I can't for the life of me think of what kind of connotation would be positive with that name. And then there is the puke-making Subaru 'Impreza' which presumably wants you to think that it's somehow imprezzive I guess. That should really pull the chicks. Who knows what Hyundai were thinking with the 'Getz' (getz you from here to there, maybe), and the Suzuki 'Baleno' just makes me think of whales (and by logical progression, corsets, but I'll leave you to figure that one out...). As for the Daihatsu 'Charade', well, honestly who the hell would want to drive around in a car with a name that implies you should be driving something more substantial.

While we're on the subject, can anyone explain why car sales lots are always festooned with balloons, like some cheap party, or a tawdry carnival. What are they trying to say? "Hey, we're clowns - come and buy a car from us!"

PS. Any girls who drive Suzuki Balenos and like to wear corsets please be sure to get in touch. I will overlook your poor choice in cars.


Blogger Misha said...

Those are all still better than "Excel". I seriously hate those cars, argh.

I don't get why car dealerships have to decorate their merchandise either. I think it's the only way they attract attention, even if it is someone looking in their general direction with contempt.

May 27, 2005 12:28 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Yeah, 'Excel' really excels. What about the Ford 'Festiva' and the Alpha Romeo 'Sportiva'? Gag. I would love to sit in on one of those naming sessions to see what they do. Must be a barrel o' laughs... "Hey, how about the Suzuki G-Wizza? Or the Holden Spunkee. Or the Toyota Krusher?" Actually this is fun! Maybe there's a new career path for me...

May 27, 2005 5:36 PM  
Blogger Misha said...

How about Hyandai Cretin, or Hyandai Catastrophe? It kinda has a nice ring to it. Subaru Sub-par?

I still laugh whenever I see a grown man driving an Excel. I am a bad person :(

May 29, 2005 11:28 AM  
Anonymous Cissy Strutt said...

and if we venture into foreign territory, where they have the temerity to speak, er, foreign languages, we find that Pajero & Nova failed to sell, perhaps because they mean, respectively, Wanker & Doesn't Go in Spanish.

May 31, 2005 3:21 PM  

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