Saturday, August 06, 2005

Art for Eat's Sake

This flyer from my letterbox today.

Oh dear. Where does one start? The Ye Olde English font? (Oh, you know, it's way back whenever, when writing was, like, all flowery an' that...) The most unappealing image of a pizza you could possibly make (the onion still looks raw for crying out loud)? The fact that one of the most moving images in the history of human creation, the act of God and Adam poised reaching out to one another but not ever touching, is being used to sell pizza? (Maybe the idea is that God and Adam have just freshly tossed the salami and onions from on high?)

Or should we focus upon that little phrase, squeezed in almost as an afterthought: the taste of art?

Could it be that we are meant to infer that Michelangelo's Café will create for you the Sistine Chapel Ceiling of pizzas? God help us all.

Perhaps I'm being unfair? Righty-ho, I will rise to the challenge and take it upon myself to personally assess the alleged magnificence of Michelangelo's pizzas, with a dutiful and comprehensive report back here on The Cow in due course. That should keep everyone glued to my blog for a few days.

In the meantime, let us ponder the taste of art. I'm offering these suggestions for business opportunities for aspiring restaurateurs-cum-artists, along with tips for promotional material:

★Picasso's (Tapas - flyer features 'Guernica' and a dish of paella)
★Pollock's (Diner - flyer with 'Blue Poles' & plate of scrambled eggs)
★Degas' (Creperie - flyer: ballet dancers & Crepes Suzette)
★Duchamp's (Noodles - flyer: pic of a urinal & plate of sardines)
★Mondrian's (Waffle House. No brainer...)
★Hirst's (Steakhouse - cowhide flyer w. pic of jar of formaldehyde)
★Monet's (Bagels - 'Poppies' + poppyseed bagel)
★Calder's (Mobile Meal Delivery Service)
★Warhol's Soup Kitchen...

Oh I tire. Over to you, dear readers...


Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Still, if they're only open for seven days it seems like this problem will soon resolve itself. :P

What about a Dali's restaurant? Incomprehensible menu artwork - entree associations.

August 08, 2005 10:35 PM  
Blogger Joe Fuel said...

mmm... urinals and sardines. my favorite!

August 08, 2005 11:04 PM  
Blogger Chickie said...

Are you planning on having it delivered or going to the restaurant? I think you should go there and really soak in the ambiance.

That flyer is so bad that I would've thought it was a joke.

August 09, 2005 3:15 AM  
Anonymous Cissy Strutt said...

can I come? I always wanted to be "my companion had" in a restaurant review.

August 09, 2005 1:30 PM  
Anonymous Anne Arkham said...

I'm pretty sure that God intended pizza to have cheese.

August 09, 2005 3:19 PM  
Blogger ScroobiousScrivener said...

There's actually a pretty good pizza/pasta chain in Cape Town called Da Vinci's. No, they don't have horrid "arty" flyers or logos, but they do have (a) crayons and newsprint tablecloths - best of the results are displayed on the walls; and (b) pizzas named after famous artists. The Degas, I recall, had smoked salmon, sour cream and caviar. Tasty.

August 19, 2005 2:39 AM  

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