Tuesday, September 13, 2005

With Friends Like These, Who Needs Anemones?



I clipped this article from a newspaper a little while ago. It reads:
London: Divers undertaking routine maintenance work in a British harbour discovered a giant lobster standing guard over a barnacle-encrusted watch. The 60 centimetre lobster, which is thought to be more than 30 years old, was spotted by members of a diving club in Blyth Harbour, Northumberland.

On closer inspection they were amazed to find that the ancient crustacean appeared to be guarding a wristwatch. On their return to the surface the divers discovered that the watch - a Citizen Pulsar believed to have been underwater for at least three years - was still telling the time accurately to within a few seconds.
Moral: It doesn't matter how carefully you look after the thing you love most, you probably won't be able to stop some bastard from taking it away from you. And time still marches on.

8 comments:

Blogger Jen said...

They took the watch away from him!

That is very mean. Very, very mean.

Oh, the poor lobster.

I can't believe I'm feeling sorry for a lobster here, but but...that is so mean.

September 13, 2005 6:08 PM  
Blogger Joe Fuel said...

It seems unfortunate that none of the divers were injured while trying to take the watch away from him. Poor old guy never had a chance.

September 14, 2005 1:04 AM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Right, I feel sorry for the lobster but what about the previous, shore-based owner of the watch? Or are we to assume the lobster INNOCENTLY HAPPENED upon this timepiece?

I don't trust lobsters. Never have, never will.

September 14, 2005 3:12 AM  
Blogger r.fuel said...

First: hahaha. I love the moral.

Second: I agree with Radioactive Jam. Let's think about the real victim here. It's a well-known fact that lobsters are the bullies of the briny deep. They wander the sea floor hunting for unsuspecting swimmers and divers, stealing their watches, underwater cameras, and their dignity.

Plus, lobsters are creepy-looking.

September 14, 2005 6:13 AM  
Anonymous UniversalHead said...

Yes, they deserve some horrific punishment like being boiled alive. Oh, hold on.

Poor bastards.

September 14, 2005 8:48 AM  
Blogger Misha said...

I didn't know lobsters were like magpies, looking for shiny keepsakes.

I can just imagine it. Someone at the beach leaves their belongings tucked under their towel, and place their watch delicately inside their shoe. They go for a swim and come back to find lobster-like prints leading to and from the shoe. Oh noes, on closer inspection the watch has gone!

I'm on the lobster's side though. Good on him for scoring a shiny new watch.

September 14, 2005 10:33 PM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Okay so the divers took the watch. What are the chances they LEFT THE LOBSTER?! One word: stew. Or possibly, thermidor.

September 15, 2005 11:58 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Just remember RJ, in an infinite number of possible universes, there may just be one where lobsters keep people in tanks in lobster restaurants to be brought live to the table for dessication by eager lobster diners...

September 15, 2005 12:04 PM  

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