Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Complemented by a Crisp Chardonnay

OK, now the last time I had a cat was about twenty years ago, I admit. And I want the best for my new little guy. But people, I'm telling you, somewhere during the last twenty years the pet world HAS GONE INSANE.

I'm giving Glitch a nice mix of all the catty foods - he gets raw kangaroo meat*, chicken wings, tinned fish and Science Diet for kittens. He likes all these things. And because I aim to be a good cat father, I also scan the supermarket shelves for other possibilities to keep his diet varied.

Today I found 'Fancy Feast® Royale' Natural Whitemeat Seafood in Tuna Jus. This is what it says on the back:
A delicious delicacy for fish connoisseurs: we start by hand selecting the ocean's finest filets of Tuna, then we mix the filets with Seabream and Whitebait and baste in a Tuna Jus.
Solely in the interests of blogging, I had to buy a packet so I could show you all. (He is seriously not getting this stuff in the normal course of events). Hand selected filets? Basted in a Tuna Jus? I haven't opened the little foil sachet yet, but I'm betting that when I do, what I'm actually going to be squeezing out is a big blob of fish mush.

And if mealtime goes anything like last night, it will be a case of him gobbling it all down as fast as he can, licking his bum and then snacking on a nice crunchy black cockroach for dessert.

My cat is is pure class.

*People from other countries please don't freak out; kangaroos are culled here for a number of reasons and the meat is not wasted. There are a lot of kangaroos. The meat is good lean meat, and sensible people will eat it. It tastes good. However, because the meat eaters of the world (including Australians) for some reason are obsessed with beef, instead of most kangaroo meat being used on the barbecue, it ends up as pet food. This is insane because one of the very worst agricultural things that ever happened to this country was the introduction of beef cattle.

UPDATE:Well, I have to confess that when I opened the sachet of Fancy Feast Royale, it didn't look nearly as puke-making as I expected. There were obvious chunks of different kinds of fish, and even whitebait. The tuna 'jus' looked suspiciously like... aspic. In fact, wait a minute, the whole thing looked just like the tinned fish I've been feeding him anyway...

And I'm sure you are all dying with anticipation... yes, he did like it. A lot. He ate it all up. And then licked his bum and tried to eat a piece of uncooked spaghetti that I dropped on the kitchen floor.


Blogger Joey Polanski said...

Evryone nose that cats like t eat mice. So hows come they dont jus markit sompm like "Tabbys Bag o Tails"? Ya no ... jus like a bag fulla mouse tails. Some of em still bleedin. Fer variety, they coud have mouse feets, mouse heads, mouse ... ummm ... well, I gess there aint no more t mice then heads an feets an tails. Mabey theres sompm to that tuna bizness.

January 11, 2006 5:17 PM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

We take a tenderloin of the finest miniature rodent, sauté it in a reduction of pinot gris and pigeon fat and garnish it with premium quality tails.

My little guy would go for that.

On the other hand, you can just point him at a moth.

January 11, 2006 5:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Solely in the interests of blogging".No.That rates up there with "I was just washing it real fast Mom,honest".

January 11, 2006 7:42 PM  
Blogger Phi said...

I'm having quite a hard time with my English lately but I do enjoy your place here, even if I'm consuming my dictionary to read it... :-)
Just one thing about pet food: Purina is now a Nestlè company. I stopped buying anything from Nestlè some time ago (I'm sure you know everything about them and their illegal ways in Africa etc etc) so I had to drop Purina too..although the mice jus version would be really appreciated by my three cutie pies ;-)
One thing last: an incredible number of animal food brands are produced and sold by experimenting them on animals. It's quite logical, at first sight, not so much if you think that many of them are surgically modified as to simulate ill pets and die or suffer because of this.
I mean, I adore my cats, but they're no better than any other cat (shush, don't want them to hear me!!!). Why should some other pet suffer just for my lazy ones to get fatter?????
So I choose "cruelty free" pet food, my loved furry ones are content and my conscience is clear - which is quite unbelievable for an Italian Catholic girl... ;-)

January 11, 2006 8:11 PM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Ah, cats and mousies. Long time ago I owned a t-shirt with this picture on it. One of my all-time favorites.

January 12, 2006 1:27 AM  
Blogger Joe Fuel said...

The things they can get some people to buy these days...

January 12, 2006 2:08 AM  
Anonymous anne arkham said...

You serve it in a crystal goblet, right?

January 12, 2006 4:15 AM  
Blogger Chickie said...

The Fancy Feast is really good if you put it on wheat bread and serve it with a pickle.

January 12, 2006 9:54 AM  
Anonymous anne arkham said...

Jam: My dad loved that cartoon. I remember him singing that song all the time, in between rounds of 'Stick Your Finger in Your Throat and Throw Up'.

January 12, 2006 11:23 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Anonymous: It's true! You should know by now that I spare no effort to bring readers of The Cow tasty little morsels. Even if they are fish flavoured.

phi: Firstly, Hello! And your English is pretty damn fine. Yes I do know about Nestlé and their dubious practices and I would not usually buy their products. But in my usual cynical old man way, I have to point out that if you buy pretty much anything from anyone who is not a Ma & Pa backyard stall these days you are buying into corporate corruption. Not many of these big companies have clean fingernails.

RaJ: Glitch hasn't found any mousies yet, but I can imagine he would love to do exactly as that singing cat suggests.

Anne Arkham: Crystal Goblet? Of course. And he has teensy kitten-sized gold-plated chopsticks (well, he is Burmese).

Chickie: See my update...

January 12, 2006 4:11 PM  
Anonymous Vox said...

If you feed cats, don't they just start living with you? Why would anyone do that?

January 13, 2006 5:45 AM  
Blogger Jill said...

Darnit, Anne, you beat me to it. Such wit, and sooo photogenic! :)

Hi, Anaglyph! I actually enjoyed the lesson on kangaroo. What about emu? I'm really fascinated by indigenous species, for some reason. Must be all the guilt trips we heard in history class about killing bison. My ancestors weren't even on this continent when those people were killing bison! (And, uh, Native American people as well.)

January 13, 2006 11:49 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Vox: Yeah, that's how it works alright. As to why, well, you have to have some kind of measurement device for small rooms.

Jill: Yes, emu is edible, and also tasty. Very lean meat. It's a red meat and tastes more akin to 'beef' than 'chicken'. Crocodile has a texture a little like chicken, and you could imagine it tastes a bit like it. Camel (which is not actually native, but has gone feral in the outback) is edible but not haute cuisine (or at least it asn't when I had it). Bogong moths taste a little like salty burnt peanuts the way the indigenous people prepare them. Witchetty grubs are disgusting.

January 13, 2006 12:45 PM  

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