Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Desolé



I've just sold my beautiful place in the mountains, the Treehouse. I feel sadness, and loss, and inexplicable loneliness because it's like I have cut the last tangible link to my lovely Kate. Treehouse was our dream, the place we made together and the place where we both thought we would grow old together.

It is pointless me keeping it. I thought I might be OK with it at one time, but I've realised that I simply can't go there without feeling a powerful melancholy and longing for the things that will no longer make up my future. It is not the same place any longer.

We owned it for nearly eight years. Those years were made up of black starry skies with shooting stars that Kate always somehow missed seeing. Ferocious August winds. Rain on our iron roof that brought sleep like no other. Possums on the verandah, and bats in the bedroom. Rosellas on the fishpond and the stocky little Sacred Kingfisher on the Viewing Tree. Campari and blood orange in tall glasses in summer. Ardbeg and dark chocolate by the fire in winter. The scent of lemon gums, of woodsmoke, of eucalyptus, of wattle. The sounds of cicadas and frogs and currawongs and windswept casuarinas. Full moons. April Fool's jokes. Day long barbecues. Mahjongg and jigsaw puzzles. And friends. Many lovely, loyal and fabulous friends.

We planted over one and a half thousand trees there. I promised I would plant one more for Kate, with her ashes. But when we talked about that she never thought I'd sell the Treehouse because she knew how much I loved it. And now I don't want to leave her with strangers.

It's time for bed now, and another night of restless sleep.

6 comments:

Anonymous Universal Head said...

I don't know what to say Pete ... except thanks, for the wonderful times I always had there.

August 30, 2005 11:38 PM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

I appreciate your candor; thanks for sharing this powerful, moving post. Can't imagine how hard your loss must have been, and doubtless still is. I hope today brings you encouragement, goodness and strength.

August 31, 2005 2:36 AM  
Anonymous anne arkham said...

What a beautiful and sad post. I hope someone loves me that much someday.

Sending thoughts and prayers,

Anne

August 31, 2005 4:19 AM  
Blogger weirdpixie said...

Oh my heart. Melancholy, beautiful life.

Sending lightbeams...

August 31, 2005 6:56 AM  
Anonymous Cissy Strutt said...

Treehouse is a place of serenity & freedom, joy & welcome. The heart lifts, the mind unwinds, the tummy fills with delicious food. Even the unfeasibly big spiders who awaited my every arrival are now converted in my memory to huge hairy puppy-angels of light. Treehouse was a House of Love, and you & Kate generously invited us in. Thank you.

August 31, 2005 11:55 AM  
Blogger Fuzzball said...

This made me cry...I'll be thinking about you. *hugs*

September 03, 2005 5:33 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home