Saturday, August 20, 2005

Physical Attraction

Spam Observations #11

Today Buddy Dillon emailed me with exciting information which I provide here in full:
Hi!

Totally New hot Alternative Dating Site!

Sick and tired of meeting boring people on generic dating sites?

We have the answer! It is not a sleezy sex site. It's an open-mided, highly sexualized, dating site for lonely wives . See the difference!

Meet real sexy housewives in your area tonight!

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Holy Cow! I couldn't believe what I was reading! A dating site for lonely quantum physicist housewives! Man, I was so quick to hit the link that I'm sure I violated causality.

But dammit, the site seems to have vanished into a singularity, so I am only able to speculate on what might be on offer through such a service:

CARBON DATING™
"Where folks through with fission come for some fusion"



Nickname: Strange Charm

Sex: Female

Body Type: Black

Smoking: You bet honey!

Drinking: Manhattans, Heavy water

Star Sign: J/PASP/106/646

Pets: I have a cat in a box. Not sure if it's alive or dead

Religion: Pastafarian

Relationship Status: Some uncertainty

Hi fellas! I'm hot and available, looking for a guy for some serious entanglement and up for some fun with the Three Body Problem. Would like someone with no strings attached who is prepared to travel; not interested in action at a distance. I'm looking for a real man with a Large Hadron Collider and a brane for a good time - WIMPs need not apply. Don't want anyone two-dimensional - minimum of five or six dimensions required. So if you feel like some strong interaction and exploring the Big Bang Theory or the Double Slit Experiment in my bubble chamber, drop me a line and maybe we can try a superposition or two.

Sigh. One can always dream.

6 comments:

Anonymous anne arkham said...

You do know I'm a former physicist,don't you? And that I'm currently a bored housewife?

August 22, 2005 3:33 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

That is so not a true story, Ms Rottwang.

August 22, 2005 6:18 AM  
Anonymous anne arkham said...

'Tis. I worked in solid state.

August 22, 2005 9:45 AM  
Blogger Gloria Glo said...

That was hilarious. I had no idea science was so slutty....must off to my nearest Physics 101 class for some good ol' fashioned dirty talk....

August 23, 2005 7:43 AM  
Blogger r.fuel said...

My favorite line:
The dreams stuff is made of.

It's too funny to mock by itself to really mock it properly.

August 25, 2005 5:39 AM  
Blogger weirdpixie said...

bloody brilliant!

quick, someone make a t-shirt:

"Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of."

i think my friend Nick Herbert might enjoy this post- i'm forwarding it to him now ;)

August 27, 2005 4:38 AM  

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