Saturday, October 08, 2005

IQ

Spam Observations #16

Someone named Green* sends me this today:

Subject: Only Humans with an IQ of at least 120 are allowed to open this Message

I have no idea what my IQ is but I open it anyway†. Nothing happens to me. So far so good. Either my IQ is over 120 or I'm scamming something. w00t!

The text of the message goes on to say:

Only Humans with an IQ of at least 120 are allowed to: click here

Well they haven't tumbled to my clever masquerade, and who can tell what treasures await me, so I click there. My browser opens a web page with an error message. Oh, how disappointing, and yet somehow entirely predictable, because... the next part of the email says:

If you can't open, use this freeware: click here

Oooh. Golly gosh, I wonder what will happen when I click on this link, which, when I run my mouse over it, says: www.pleasescrewmeroyallyrightuptheass.com/ouch/iloveit.zip. Or maybe it is www.pleaseinfectmycomputerwithyourfoulvirus/yes/doitnow.zip: it's a bit hard to read, my eyes are so blurry with the excitement of having convinced complete strangers of my superior IQ. I am such a k3wl and krafty haxx0r. Oh the exhilaration of the life of the l337! ph33r m3h n00bs!

I click the link and whaddya know, a file starts to download. Excellent d00d. sploitz or warez 4 sure! pr0n at least!

So here it is... jaja!!! It's something called 'MyDoom'‡. w00t! A game. k3wl!

Oh wait... It's an .exe file! Even with my m4d sk1llz I can't open it on a Mac.

suxx0r!!! If only I had a PC who knows what adventures I could be having right now!**




*Named Green, or perhaps of that colour. My previous experience with spammers in the amphibian trade admits various possibilities.

†WARNING: This kind of experiment is suitable only for adventurous idiots with a Macintosh. PC users should definitely NOT open these kinds of emails no matter what they think their IQ is.

‡Lie for comic effect.

**Smug Macintosh User Gloating††

††d00d!! A recursive acronym. Is that cool or what?

4 comments:

Blogger r.fuel said...

Very funny post. You are so comically 1337.

October 08, 2005 11:56 PM  
Blogger Joe Fuel said...

MMM. The wonderful joys of having a Mac.

October 09, 2005 1:25 AM  
Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Recursive is indeed cool. Still, I think Smug Macintosh User Gloating borders on redundant, but that's just the Mac envy talking.

October 10, 2005 2:10 AM  
Blogger weirdpixie said...

Heheh, funny! Plus, a nice synchronicity for me to be reading this post, as I am just now switching all of my email addresses over to my Mac from my PC now that I've got 10 up and running.

October 10, 2005 6:09 AM  

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