Free Range?
(Or: 'As Sure as Iggs is Iggs')
OK, so you probably all have gathered that I went away for a few days and while I can tell you where I went (Wellington, New Zealand) and what I did (visited some friends working on the sound crew of Peter Jackson's new film 'King Kong') I can't tell you anything else because I have signed forms in blood and in triplicate that forbid me from doing so on pain of quite unpleasant punishment.
I will however tell you an amusing story. It's 5.20am this morning in Wellington airport, I'm on my way home. I have checked my luggage through and am drinking a really awful coffee when an announcement comes across the loudspeaker:
"Will passengers Lee and Robson please go immediately to the chicken counter. Passengers Lee and Robson to the chicken counter. Your flight is waiting to depart."
Now I know it was really early and I was half asleep, but I totally swear on the Holy Milking Pail, that I wondered for several minutes why the hell they had someone counting chickens in the airport, and how dare Lee and Robson leave this obviously time-consuming task to the last minute.
And people think Australians talk funny.
OK, so you probably all have gathered that I went away for a few days and while I can tell you where I went (Wellington, New Zealand) and what I did (visited some friends working on the sound crew of Peter Jackson's new film 'King Kong') I can't tell you anything else because I have signed forms in blood and in triplicate that forbid me from doing so on pain of quite unpleasant punishment.
I will however tell you an amusing story. It's 5.20am this morning in Wellington airport, I'm on my way home. I have checked my luggage through and am drinking a really awful coffee when an announcement comes across the loudspeaker:
"Will passengers Lee and Robson please go immediately to the chicken counter. Passengers Lee and Robson to the chicken counter. Your flight is waiting to depart."
Now I know it was really early and I was half asleep, but I totally swear on the Holy Milking Pail, that I wondered for several minutes why the hell they had someone counting chickens in the airport, and how dare Lee and Robson leave this obviously time-consuming task to the last minute.
And people think Australians talk funny.
† anaglyph 2:10 PM
18 comments:
I think that being forced to wear those orange tights would be much worse than the windlass and entrails. You can just tell that the man painted as Christopher Walken really enjoys wearing them.
Pete,repeat after me "six" "pool" "Australian".You DO talk funny
Ah, you can pritind to be anonymous JV but you ain't foolin' The Cow.
My cousin Daniel once told me about this place in Seatoun that had fantastic 'old fish and lemonade'.
It took me at least fifteen minutes to decode.
(Apologies to all you Yanks, I'm sure you're finding this impenetrable... maybe I should do an interpretation guide...)
No need t hurry, Lee an Robson. Yer flite aint leavin witout yas. Chickins cant fly!
I get the iggs but not the old fish and lemonade. I'll just sit here quietly in the corner and hope that I get it...eventually.
(made a typo first time 'round)
guessing: old fish and = old fashioned
Ah, yes, it's all clear to me now. Thanks, Undercovercookie.
i've had a lot of practice decoding australian lately. it's the canadians that i really love to mock. "t's thet oll aboot?"
Someone is making fun of Lee and Robson because they're afraid to fly. "No problem, folks. We realize some people experience a fear of flying. Although the fear is completely irrational we know you *cough*losers*cough* can't help it. We make special accommodations for our aviophobic passengers. There'll be an announcement about this before general boarding begins, so listen for instructions when we call your names. And don't worry, we'll take care of you."
Lee and Robson obviously had to count their chickens before they hatched. Standard procedure over here.
Is it cheaper to fly on a chicken than on a plane?
Chickie: Booooo... What a fowl joke...
Pete, I need your address. I found you a gift that you can't live without!
Pete,lay off our language.I dont make fun of your country's Prime Minister,foreign policy, or its appalling race realtions record.
Oh.
Sorry.I do.
Feel quite free to make fun of those things. Except make sure you don't do it while you're here, because thanks to our newly passed Sedition laws they can probably throw you in jail for it.
Ah, Democracy, how we love it!
jedimacfan: Oh, you are so totally NOT getting my address.
undercovercookie: Your translation skills are immaculate.
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