Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Like a Bat Out of Hell



Last July, fellow blogger and faithful Cow Reader Radiocative Jam spotted what appeared to be God's SUV whilst on his way to work. Yes folks, it seems that like mostly everyone else God is totally unconcerned about Global Warming and is happy to chew up the fossil fuels with reckless abandon.*

Anyway, the other day I am driving down Botany Road in Alexandria, Sydney, and I cruise up behind this black jeep at the lights. The license plate reads SATAN.

Now I am completely aware that not one single reader is going to believe me after my recent escapades with a certain feline minion of the Dark One, so at great risk to an elderly pedestrian nun, and physical risk to my own person (of a hernia), I retrieve my cell phone from my pocket with a view to snapping a crystal clear shot of the plate.

Too late - before I can say 'Beelzebub's Bollocks!", the jeep is out of range and heading for Hades. I've got an iceberg's chance in Hell of catching him. I realize that you'll all be scoffing in disdain at the above shot, but it's the best I could do. Moments later the jeep had disappeared in an oily black puff of diesel and brimstone.†


*Well, I guess in His case, he can argue that He made them, so he can bleedin' well do what he likes with them...

†One of the tail lights was broken, but I wouldn't want to be the cop that pulled him over...


9 comments:

Blogger Radioactive Jam said...

Riiight. A clear, readable shot - no one would've doubted *that,* Dr. Photoshop. Although I believe you. Even without a picture of the almost-flying nun.

March 08, 2006 10:46 AM  
Anonymous Cat said...

I'll back you up! I've seen this guy driving around too!!! I followed him around Bondi Junction once but couldn't get a good look at him.

He didn't seem as creepy as the huge man in the little red car that seemed to pop up all over my trip to Costa Rica once. His license plate was '666'.

March 08, 2006 11:32 AM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

RaJ: Yeah, but see, you know my Photoshop skills are good enough that I could have faked up the number plate, but I didn't... OTOH, mebbe it's the old switheroo; I know that you know that it would have been a snip to fake, so I didn't... mwhahahaha...

Cat: Please tell all my readers that I don't know you at all, and that no money exchanged hands for that comment...

March 08, 2006 12:02 PM  
Anonymous Mistress of the Amphora said...

Hey! It's the Tooth Fairy in the white car on the right side of the street!

March 08, 2006 12:20 PM  
Blogger Joey Polanski said...

Th Lord God said to TH SERPENT: "upon yer belly shall you go, an dust shall you eat all th days of yer life."

An there you was, Revrend -- eatin th Serpents dust!

March 08, 2006 1:28 PM  
Anonymous Cat said...

Anaglyph - no we DON'T know eachother and you haven't paid me for my comment. All that says though is you're not real good about paying up.

March 08, 2006 6:39 PM  
Anonymous anne arkham said...

Is brimstome cheaper than gasoline? 'Cause I'd be willing to give it a shot.

March 09, 2006 1:13 PM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Cheaper, but it smells bad.

March 09, 2006 1:45 PM  
Blogger anaglyph said...

Actually, thinking about it, brimstone is sulphur and so it would smell not unlike the exhaust of unleaded petrol...

This might have deep philosophical implications.

March 09, 2006 1:48 PM  

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